Other opinions expressed by Entrepreneur Sybella Loram are contributors of her own.
As we progress throughout our day, we express energy into the atmosphere, then we gain energy back from the atmosphere that others have admitted. Our minds, bodies, souls consist of electricity, which reverberates out thus experienced by those around us. Those vibrations resonate, accumulate, assemble and manipulate our thoughts, moods, actions and perception. They affect our own power stores.
We may feel warm, calm and cheerful in the presence of some individuals, but raw, anxious around others. We carry that energy with us, and it influences not merely ourselves but all the characters we come in contact with.
Good energy can heighten our feelings of well-being, dissipating intensities of anxiety and improve communication. Bad energy results in moods of disharmony, conflict and resentment. Your goal should be to engage with positive people and attract good energy whilst staying away from the negative moaning mollies and spiteful people of the world.
This can be accomplished by raising your energy level and aligning yourself with positive vibrations. It’s simpler than you may think. Start with positive affirmations in the morning. A guided meditation first thing in the morning can set you up for the day. Monitor your inner voice and make sure it is not feeding you negative dialogue subconsciously. Tune up your inner vibrations and start feeling positive energy flow your way. Yoga can also be an advantage in attracting good vibrations.
Paying attention to your thoughts, opinions, attitude and basic mindset you are transferring is fundamental to your inner serenity. Many individuals are not conscious of what they are thinking and are not aware that their attitude is toxic. They do not realise their somber take on life or negative mind is down to their thoughts, perception and intentions. No one is suggesting you are an awful person for thinking negatively. It could be a habit you learnt from your parents or you may not realise you are negative until it’s remarked upon. It is challenging to retrain the mind, but certainly not inconceivable.
Read the book ‘Break the habit’ by Philip José Farmer.
An efficient way of learning is observing how others cause you to feel. Do they contribute to you feeling upbeat or influence you to feel depressed or irritated? Are you pleased when they have left and did you look forward to meeting them again? The answers will reveal to you a good deal more than you first may have thought. This is also relative to how people perceive you too. If people are avoiding you or ghosting you, then maybe concentrate on your own vibration and energy. Think joyful thoughts about your aims. Like attracts like it is the law of physics and so you will attract what you throw out in thought and vibration.
Decide to stay away from those that contribute to your own negativity. Negative energy will influence your relationships and the impression you make on individuals. Including job interviews and meeting the parents of someone for the first time.
We have all heard of the law of attraction well this is it. Think kind and positive things about people and for yourself. Imagine your desired outcome and see what happens.
Your thoughts are like those bubbles you used to read in children comics, except they actually float off. They reach the great cosmos, spirit world, source, God, heaven, home, universe. Call it what you wish. But they eventually affect your life. Thoughts like revenge, anger, judging, hate, spite, jealousy, envy and greed will all lower your vibration and what you attract in your life. You can eliminate them or nullify them, but it requires you to be aware of what your inner voice is influencing you to think.
Look at the positive side of everything decide to capture something useful valuable and effective aside from the bad or unhappy incident. If the current has upset you, see it as it is. Undoubtedly it is better you learn it now then months down the line, when you are home hunting together.
Negative incidents can be productive: a warning from your guide or inner voice. Your intuition is speaking to you.
Look at the way you phrase your thoughts. Instead of, “I can’t do this, it is immensely hard”.
Think, “this is hard, but I can handle the challenge”. See potential in everything walk away with positivity, not pessimism.
Cutting off negative people and influences
Negative influence includes TV, films, newspapers, online gaming, YouTube, and what you read on media platforms. It’s challenging to avoid negativity online with Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Especially now politicians, voters and celebrities adopt it to score objectives by slating and criticizing.
But skip Trump and his racism, Syria, and the torture of its communities. Brazil, the rain forest, famine and war needs to be recognised of course. But avoiding too much negativity from news can influence the state of mind plus stop rumination. Hell, even the soap East Enders is a subject of gloom. We are typically a product of our surroundings and influences. I am not proposing you evade the news absolutely just exercise on the side of precaution on how much you subject yourself too.
Associates and strangers likewise can be toxic. Invariably this is not always on purpose and perhaps not meant for you. If you cannot casually shepherd them into a happier place, then point out how their attitude is disturbing you. Then maybe minimise the contact spent with them, if at all. There are those in the world that realize they are toxic and derive pleasure from swaying, manipulating and getting a rise out of you. Shun these characters, communities and groups were possible. These cluster B personality types, the narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths of our world are unlikely to develop and should come with a government health warning.
Your peace of mind is down to you, so don’t rely on foreign influences to complete you. Boyfriends, wealth, food, drugs and excitement are merely momentary. How you genuinely feel will still be there in the morning. You will not discover happiness or joy being around unstable, toxic, law breaking or crazy individuals or situations or highs.
On the flip-side you should broaden your horizons, meet new people, make new friends. Friends that are loyal, positive, kind and fun to be with. Find a club or a hobby that attracts these types of people. An excellent illustration is church, maybe charity, voluntary work, a cookery or singing course, the church choir. Help groups for the environment that run fund raising and pick up litter days. People that wish to contribute to the planet or help others are generally kinder, more positive personalities. These are the people you should wish to be around or the type of person you may wish to become.
Associate with successful sophisticated characters, bring your own innovative ideas with you. Enthusiastic characters that are go getters not talkers leant up against the bar on their 5th pint. Be careful of the excessively rich and entrepreneurs as they can lack empathy and have narcissistic traits. You still need sympathetic, loyal friends that can empathise and support you. Not just make you buoyant and enthusiastic to establish wealth and make a fast buck. Major elated, fanatical bodies can exasperate too. There is such a concept of having too much of a good thing.
Kindness and Compassion
Never underestimate the power of kindness, or slightest of gestures. These can have a major impact on an individual. A good morning, a smile off a stranger, holding open the door. A phone call. These minor acts of kindness can have the most profound influence on a person’s day. Never underestimate this. You don’t know what someone is going through behind closed doors and your phone call, card or drop-in visit could just save their day or even their life.
Research shows that individuals that are cordial to others are more satisfied in their lives. Giving time contribution to help is an excellent way to feel good emotionally and mentally. It is a valuable way of establishing productive energy for yourself, those you are supporting, building stronger and lasting relationships. Just as negative energy is contagious, so to is positive energy. Giving to others generates a positive feedback loop — the more you give, the better the reactions you receive in return.
Evade listening to your critical inner thoughts they will draw you away diminish your sense of self worth blocking your potential to fulfil your soul’s purpose. Tune into your positive channel and mark out your strong attributes. Look at what you have achieved and which difficulties you overcame. How will you progress forward and endeavor to accomplish future challenges? Place into practice lessons through the mistakes. Share knowledge, teach others how to have endurance and be resilient just as you have learnt to be.
What do you most desire in the world
Concentrate on your objectives and your purpose in life, then align yourself with it. Observe yourself accomplishing what it is you dream of. Focus on the result, making sure you appreciate the journey. It is the journey that will contribute to you to your destination, steer that helm toward your specific future, and have an adventure during the process.
Never neglect gratitude in your heart it is so easy to forget being grateful for what you have received, more to the point, been given. Indeed, when you experience the thoughts of having nothing. Glance around, realise you undoubtedly have a substantial deal more than many. Your home may be modest and you own a beaten up car. Maybe you loathe your job and wish you could change it. Just appreciate what you have, be grateful. Sanitation clean drinking water in your humble home, a job for food, plus a car is considered affluent too many in the world.
Respond with a good heart and faith
Individuals will invariably be unpredictable with this certainty: rudeness, hostility, and arrogance can occur. Show compassion for these people they may have had an unpleasant day. Be stoic and resilient, “You cannot control people or the world but you can manage how you react to both.”
Forgive them for their attitude that they project onto you. Be kind smile and walk away. As Buddha formerly said, “I don’t accept your gift, therefore you still have it, but thank you.” Make it a moral in your life that you treat everybody you see or meet by being civil, respectful and considerate.
Love can’t exist without boundaries, even with your children. It’s easy to understand external boundaries as your bottom line. Think of rules and principles you live by when you say what you will or won’t do or allow.
You need to have boundaries just like you need to have morals. There is a time when you just have to say no whoever they are. You can change and move your boundaries. As you grow older, your views and perception of people and the world will change. If you have difficulty saying no, override your needs to please others. There will always be the controllers of the world or the boss that makes you stay late over and over with no notice. Learn to say no, it’s your right, and it is a firm boundary to have.
Internal boundaries involve regulating your relationship with yourself. Think of them as self-discipline and healthy management of time, thoughts, emotions, behaviour and impulses. If you’re procrastinating, doing things you neither have to nor want to do, or overdoing and not getting enough rest, recreation, or balanced meals, you may neglect internal physical boundaries. Learning to manage negative thoughts and feelings empowers you, as does the ability to follow through on goals and commitments to yourself.
Types of Boundaries
There are several areas where boundaries apply:
- Material boundaries determine whether you give or lend things, such as your money, car, clothes, books, food, or toothbrush.
- Physical boundaries pertain to your personal space, privacy, and body. Do you give a handshake or a hug–to whom and when? How do you feel about loud music, nudity, and locked doors?
- Mental boundaries apply to your thoughts, values, and opinions. Are you easily suggestible? Do you know what you believe, and can you hold on to your opinions? Can you listen with an open mind to someone else’s opinion without becoming rigid? If you become highly emotional, argumentative, or defensive, you may have weak emotional boundaries.
- Emotional boundaries distinguish separating your emotions and responsibility for them from someone else’s. It’s like an imaginary line or force field that separates you and others. Healthy boundaries prevent you from giving advice, blaming or accepting blame. They protect you from feeling guilty for someone else’s negative feelings or problems and taking others’ comments personally. High reactivity suggests weak emotional boundaries. Healthy emotional boundaries require clear internal boundaries–knowing your feelings and your responsibilities to yourself and others.
- Sexual boundaries protect your comfort level with sexual touch and activity – what, where, when, and with whom.
- Spiritual boundaries relate to your beliefs and experiences in connection with God or a higher power.
Why It’s Hard
It’s hard for codependents to set boundaries because:
- They put others’ needs and feelings first;
- They don’t know themselves;
- They don’t feel they have rights;
- They believe setting boundaries jeopardizes the relationship; and
- They never learned to have healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are learned. If yours weren’t valued as a child, you didn’t learn to have them. Any kind of abuse violates personal boundaries, including teasing.
You We learn boundaries Have Rights
Not having boundaries or respect growing up would leave you with no self-awareness or self respect. For example, you have a right to privacy, to say “no”. You have the right be spoken to with courtesy and respect, to change your mind or cancel commitments, to ask people you hire to work the way you want, to ask for the money you lent back without feeling awkward, to ask for help, to be left alone, and not to answer a question, the phone, or an email. To ask someone to leave your home or presence or to treat yourself or your belongings with some respect.
Think about all the situations where these rights apply. Write how you feel and how you currently handle them. How often do you say “yes” when you’d like to say “no?” Or felt disrespected when a friend let their children jump all over your new sofa.
Healthy emotional and mental internal boundaries help you not to assume responsibility for, or obsess about, other people’s feelings and problems–something co-dependents commonly do. Strong internal boundaries curb suggestibility. You think about yourself, rather than automatically agreeing with others’ criticism or advice. You’re then empowered to set external emotional boundaries if you choose. Similarly, since you’re accountable for your feelings and actions, you don’t blame others. When you’re blamed, if you don’t feel responsible, instead of defending yourself or apologizing, you can say, “I don’t take responsibility for that.”
Guilt and Resentment
Anger is often a signal that it requires action. If you feel resentful or victimized and are blaming someone or something, it might mean that you haven’t been setting boundaries. If you feel anxious or guilty about setting boundaries, remember, your relationship suffers when you’re unhappy. Once you get practice setting boundaries, you feel empowered and suffer less anxiety, resentment, and guilt. You receive more respect from others and your relationships improve.
Setting Effective Boundaries
People repeatedly set boundaries, but it didn’t work. There’s an art to setting boundaries. If made when angry or by nagging, you won’t be heard. We should not place boundaries to punish. But for your well-being, self respect and protection. They’re effective when you’re assertive, calm, firm, and courteous. When this doesn’t work, communicate consequences to encourage compliance. It’s essential that you never threaten a consequence you’re not fully prepared to carry out.
Always trust your instinct, unless you suffer from paranoia or anxiety, it is usually right. People give off clues about what their intention is, what kind of person they genuinely are. If you have known the character for years and aware of their faults, then it’s your prerogative if you continue with the relationship. After all, none of us are perfect, I am sure there’s people putting up with your indiscretions. But don’t be talked round about your reactions and intuition about someone. You may be more sensitive, a better judge of character than the person who feels differently about the character in question. Or they may have lower boundaries, less or no self worth to be bothered.
For more information, check out www. Sybellaloram.com and http://www.sybella-Loram.com for more on climate change and spirituality.
Thanks for reading
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